All I ask is that if the end draws near, it comes quick and painless.

I want it so because, I do not believe in crying or bleeding tirelessly as the news hits me.

I want it so because, I can move on almost immediately from news that may not please me,

and rather than wallow in self-pity for a mere 24 hours, I wish to seize the moment and bask in self-satisfaction.

I would always prefer to be a smug s.o.b. than a pathetic clingy vexation.Featured image

It has been the longest time.

I lack excuses, therefore I write simply to air out my human frustrations. It frustrates me that these things frustrate me, but I am only human and cannot choose what affects me.


Is it so wrong to love? To want to be loved and cherished?

They say if you find that person early, it gives you more time to spend with them

They never remind you that you can never be absolutely sure and the sum of your mounting experiences will determine that.

To be miserable in love is a wretched affliction I would not wish upon my enemy.

For some people, love is their whole being…that romantic wistful dreamy love.

Not the realistic, heart-wrenching love with its ups and downs that make even the strong reject their feelings.

Am I too young to know such a love? That is yet to be seen

I know how I feel about my Mother, my Father and my Brother

I know how I feel about chocolate, jewelry, and every Matthew McConaughey movie I’ve seen.

I love certainty, order and for things to be what they are.

I love to be clear and for people to be just as clear with me.

I do not like feeling unimportant to someone who has told me that I am of the utmost importance.

I do not like feeling betrayed, irrational and controlling.

There are no words to convey my exact state, only that I prefer to be happy.

Happy suits me.

I do not want to feel or be miserable in love.

Today marks the day most of my friends feel they can begin cracking the “you’re so old” jokes with me and all I have to say is, I’m just grateful I am alive to hear the jokes and to laugh with as many of them as I can.

Sometimes I can be a little dark or quite grim, but at the heart of my cold steely exterior is a warm beating heart yearning for days lost in her childhood….(I’m totally kidding and totally cold).

:) Anyway.

Super grateful

Super happy

& feeling super loved literally from all around the world.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Happy New Year.

Posted: January 2, 2015 in Just Me, Life
Tags: , ,

There are definitely other ways to achieve the success you seek…it doesn’t always mean drop everything you love doing. Sometimes you only need to find true balance. This year, that is my resolution. Not to simply abandon my blog, but to make time for it like anyone else who loves doing this.

Happy New Year everyone!

My dance team (African Students Association dance team) performing to Stromae’s Papaoutai.

Anything and I mean anything is possible if we believe it is- this team made me believe that. We made this dance in two and a half weeks because we were fully determined and we had a smashing successful performance. Please give it a look.

Blue Ceiling FFFF copyright banner final

It’s been a month or more since my last FF post and it was not from lack of want but a real lack of time to indulge even in the simple act of blogging itself. I am happy to contribute this week.


copyright- Dawn O. Landau


Whack, Thwack, Thwack!- Again and again with no mercy

Fiercely dealing out the beatdown of a lifetime ruthlessly with no mercy lurking about.

For such a sweet looking lady you would never have expected such strength and monstrous ability

She kept stabbing and cutting as violently as she could

She would get the job done before the police officers came and ruined everything

No she could not have that! She had planned it all out and had put in so much energy

Cold to her touch

Her husband’s 50th birthday gift; a statue honouring his time as Chief of Police. (100)

“Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words”- Edgar Allan Poe


For this semester one of my classes is a 400 level writing based on most poetry and workshops on mostly poems. I do believe I am quite excited because now I can attain an academic perspective on my poems and poetic abilities. If all goes well I know I shall be overwhelmed with joy and if all does not….


I shall cry and wail till my tear ducts fail

I shall weep till I can create my own pond

I shall leave nothing but a sorrowful trail

I shall fear all and from school abscond.


But I hope, pray and know all will go well.


“The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them”- Anonymous

Metaphorically speaking you could do this without a physical gun..words are enough. Like someone recently told me, do not apologize for honest feelings for it is better to be real than to be fake.

Thank you.

Warning: Strong language.

Disclaimer: This post is not religiously affiliated, just emotional.


Being shitted on does not feel good, so for all the people who can’t be themselves without doing it or taking it- good luck to you bro.

This is for the people who are sincerely tired of their piling stack of stinking shit and please pardon my toilet euphemisms but when you’re this pissed every thought is either dirty or dangerous.

Someone said marriage is a two way street and i’d like to say that whoever it was must have been a genius however there are some people who do not want that.

If being a good wife means that through good and bad I will have to stay bent over for you to make the marriage work then marriage is certainly not for me.

Don’t complain if you are not going to do anything about your situation. I know it’s not easy, truly I know it’s not but if your partner is not being fair, everyone will be suffering….you, the children and I don’t see what for. So because some effed up ancient culture says take this shit, you take it. You must have had God intervene because personally I count what’s worth it.

I only want to bend over backwards for someone who’s prepared to do the exact same for me.

All this has been brought up by latent anger but my thoughts and feelings are crystal clear. I am nobody’s emotional garbage bin. I am a pressure cooker just like everyone else and this post means I’ve just boiled over and need to be emptied.

Seeing what I see…I feel like marriage should have the vows said by the woman and then the man shrugs and says, “well, because of tradition this shit is imaginary but because you want this…for richer for poor, for better for worse, through thick and thin, till death do us part….oh wait fuck that last part”.

Don’t be offended if you’re in a healthy marriage or ask what about the women who are the wrong ones….these are all different from what i’m talking about and i’m drawing form a personal situation. That’s all. If you know someone being shitted on and saying they  want to be like Christ, please let me know what you said to them or did to help them wake up and keep in mind that he didn’t teach us to let people take advantage of us especially when we can see that is exactly what they are doing.